I've Arrived

Well, the last line from my last post. I've arrived. What did I mean by that? Well, I am finally beginning to be so comfortable with who I am for one thing. I'm not always so concerned with what others think of me, although I still have my moments when I think it matters.

If God could just send me an email and let me know that yes, indeed, I am making the right decisions, then maybe what others think wouldn't matter so much. Because of course, if God approved, out loud, so I could know it was actually his voice, then I would know for sure that what others think doesn't matter. Then I would know for sure I was doing God's will.

How can a person know? How can we know that we are listening hard enough and really hearing what God has to say to us? We don't get that big booming voice from the clouds or the email from God or a phone call on our cell as we're driving home from work. "Deborah - yes you should take that new job you've been offered!" "Yes - go ahead and make vacation plans for this summer, I have the money situation handled for you. You will have plenty of money for the girls this fall." Oh, if only I could hear him clearly.

Well, questions or no, I've arrived anyway. Arrived to a time in my life when being 42 is wonderful. How could I know that I could be so peaceful in the midst of such a stressful world? You don't think I'm fooling myself do you? Yes I feel stress, but at the same time a gratefulness for everything in my life. Thank you Father, God. You are truly awesome and so amazing and so unbelievably loving.