Saturday, February 14, 2009
Happy February 14, 2009
3 years ago today Tom had the surgery to remove his kidney. It was one of the longest and scariest days I've ever endured. I was surrounded by my family and his, but have never felt more alone and petrified. I prayed all day.
I remember how relieved I was when I got to go see him in the recovery room. He was joking with the nurse and I knew that Tom was still there, still hopeful and still himself.
I really loved and still love that man.
Today is a totally new and different Valentine's Day than the scary one from 3 years ago. When I say 3 years ago, in my mind and heart and feels like 3 decades.
Happy Valentine's Day Tom. You are missed.
I remember how relieved I was when I got to go see him in the recovery room. He was joking with the nurse and I knew that Tom was still there, still hopeful and still himself.
I really loved and still love that man.
Today is a totally new and different Valentine's Day than the scary one from 3 years ago. When I say 3 years ago, in my mind and heart and feels like 3 decades.
Happy Valentine's Day Tom. You are missed.
Monday, February 09, 2009
My New Post
Hello everyone looking at my update. I can't believe how the time has flown by. It's seems like it went by in a flash and yet I am living an entirely different life since the last time I updated this blog.
My awesome, impressive husband Tom was diagnosed with kidney cancer on January 26, 2006 and after an amazing attempt to survive, he passed away on July 20, 2007.
He is and will always be missed dearly. It is amazing how much a part of my life he still is. If I am not remembering something we did together, I'm thinking about what he would say about something, or wishing he was here to help me figure out what to do with some of the decisions I have been trying to make. It's been amazingly hard to figure everything out by myself.
I am constantly amazed at how many times I think to myself how smart that man was. He could do anything and really enjoyed doing everything. His brain had an huge capacity for figuring things out. And he had a gift for being able to read people, especially me. I miss that so much. Sometimes I wouldn't even know what my own problem was. I would talk to Tom about it and he would know immediately and be able to help me see things more clearly.
I have learned a lot about death, and so much about life, but mostly what I've learned is how the love that we share with other people and the love we give to others, continues on forever, even after they are gone, and in the most fascinating way. It's true that the only thing that really matters and the only thing that you get to take with you and also leave behind, is love. I know it sounds corny, but it's true.
I continue to feel blessed not only for the life I had with Tom, I'm grateful for what we meant to each other, and I am blessed to be able to continue my life knowing that I wouldn't have traded a moment with him for anything in the world. He was a great man, a wonderful father and an authentic person who didn't care what anyone ever thought about him, but definitely cared for and about the people he loved.
I will continue on with my life, knowing how important he will always be to our daughters and me and knowing for sure that I'll see him again someday. I will continue on and try to make a life for myself because that's what Tom would want me to do. I know he truly loved me, for me. I'm the luckiest person in the world.
Love each other!
My awesome, impressive husband Tom was diagnosed with kidney cancer on January 26, 2006 and after an amazing attempt to survive, he passed away on July 20, 2007.
He is and will always be missed dearly. It is amazing how much a part of my life he still is. If I am not remembering something we did together, I'm thinking about what he would say about something, or wishing he was here to help me figure out what to do with some of the decisions I have been trying to make. It's been amazingly hard to figure everything out by myself.
I am constantly amazed at how many times I think to myself how smart that man was. He could do anything and really enjoyed doing everything. His brain had an huge capacity for figuring things out. And he had a gift for being able to read people, especially me. I miss that so much. Sometimes I wouldn't even know what my own problem was. I would talk to Tom about it and he would know immediately and be able to help me see things more clearly.
I have learned a lot about death, and so much about life, but mostly what I've learned is how the love that we share with other people and the love we give to others, continues on forever, even after they are gone, and in the most fascinating way. It's true that the only thing that really matters and the only thing that you get to take with you and also leave behind, is love. I know it sounds corny, but it's true.
I continue to feel blessed not only for the life I had with Tom, I'm grateful for what we meant to each other, and I am blessed to be able to continue my life knowing that I wouldn't have traded a moment with him for anything in the world. He was a great man, a wonderful father and an authentic person who didn't care what anyone ever thought about him, but definitely cared for and about the people he loved.
I will continue on with my life, knowing how important he will always be to our daughters and me and knowing for sure that I'll see him again someday. I will continue on and try to make a life for myself because that's what Tom would want me to do. I know he truly loved me, for me. I'm the luckiest person in the world.
Love each other!
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